my blood escapes me in a waxy mess
to become the candles that I see by
it is a perfect kind of pain
an anger set in sanitized tubes
here is the experimentation
hit or miss in guess and check
I will be the blinded shattered horrid
when the pulsing of my cells
is lessened by your lips

so that it ceases to be a question

of the skin set loose from my teeth

and becomes a question

of the safety in my veins

I will find the answer to breath

in your quiet desperation

the silence changes the course of things

and a shoulder is bared

to break the light

it is harsh and cold as metal against flesh

like a paper cut

to the bloodied pieces of everything

I am no longer able to see straight

and waxed blood swallows and defines my experience.

rounded bite marks break the lips of reason

I suppose I see the logic

in life [a break from death]

in death

[a break from life]

the edges are soft and I'm on the verge

in this padded cell of mine

today I'm imagining car wrecks

feeling glass shatter in my straight jacket

I'm on tiptoe

syringe to skin and muscle to trigger

and I find that I am an observer

noticer of the little things

participant through the looking glass

taking notes to live, to breathe, to break

you know the reality set 

by the patterns in my heartbeats

the despair chewing my veins

please, for my sake hold me down

as the writhing of my cells 

breeds disgusting logic

I swear that life

is just [a break from death...]